Since when can kayaks even fit in the L.A. River? Apparently so, even despite the plethora of plastic bags and possum carcasses that take up the miniscule amount of water present.

According to the LA Times, kayakers from L.A. Conservation Corps inspected a 1.5 mile stretch of the upper Los Angeles River, Saturday.

The object of their excursion through the treturous water was to inspect the region that runs through the San Fernando Valley’s Sepulveda Basin. The inspection was to clear this stretch of potential hazards in time for the 2nd annual Paddle the Los Angeles River program.

Hence the word “paddle”.

For years, this 70-foot channel has operated as a flood-control channel, and sanctuary for the many wildlife organisms that dwell in the murky brown waters. Oh can’t forget, it is also an escape route for waste water contaminated with chemicals and trash.

The first legal trips down the river took place last August. The Army Corps issued license allowing paying customers to paddle down, under strict conditions. The section of the river that runs between Balboa and Burbank, about 17 miles northwest of downtown, contains shopping carts, fast food wrappers and angry hawks and egrets to sum it up. Much more where that came from.

The Conservation Corps and L.A. River Expeditions will offer trips on Tuesdays through Saturday over a nine-week season, ending Sept. 29th.

Ticket prices for this wild water activity are $50 per person for two-hours, which might get you 20 feet if you’re lucky. Crikey!
–Krista Blore, 93.1 Jack FM

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Jonah Falcon, man with the world’s largest penis was searched on accounts of a mysterious bulge in his pants.

Wouldn’t it be hilarious if his name was Richard? What a let down.

While at the San Francisco International Airport on July 9th, Falcon was searched by the TSA who noticed his third head suffocating through his intentionally tight pants.

Although he had no technical weapons, he did contain something that shoots things and could be harmful if used incorrectly. He was infact strapped, to the left that is. Jonah Falcon claims the ‘stuff’ in his pants that was causing a 3D image to onlookers, was soft at the time.

The 41-year-old from New York measures at 9 inches flaccid, and 13.5 while erect. Though he was innocent from containing any bombs or illegal items, it’s no wonder why the TSA were suspicious.

While the TSA were searching for an invisible explosive or weapon, they became frustrated and led Falcon to the X-ray body scanners.

His manhood stood the test of time. Though his pockets were empty, other things were not. These sorts of things could make his pockets less empty with the porn offers he’s received, but rejected.

While the screener extensively searched Falcon, he finally gave up, while maintaining a straight face during the entire process. The search included patting directly around his family jewels at which point Falcon had to verbally identify that it was his male sex organ.

–Krista Blore, 93.1 Jack FM

[Source: huffingtonpost]

Over the last few seasons we’ve seen some major shakeups in the reality show’s judging department. Paula Abdul said goodbye in 2009. After eight seasons, Simon Cowell called it quits. Kara DioGuardi’s contract was not renewed after two years—2009 and 2010—forcing her to leave. And don’t forget Ellen DeGeneres, who ended ties after only one season in 2010.

Now with J.Lo leaving to make more movies and Steven Tyler deciding it’s time for him to let go of his mistress American Idol before she “boils his rabbit” (whatever that means) we look at some possible contenders for a place alongside Idol lifer, Randy Jackson, who also might be looking to get out of judging, according to reports.

• Adam Lambert: One of the first names in the running after rumors of J.Lo leaving started swirling. The Idol runner-up might be the perfect choice for the job since he knows the ropes and has a clear fanbase.

• Mariah Carey: She is reportedly in “serious talks” with the show according to People. The singer’s even worked with Randy throughout her career, which might make her feel right at home.

• Charlie Sheen: Though this one seems like it was totally made up, American Idol executive producer Nigel Lythgoe said Sheen might be a good fit. Though some think it might have originally started out as a joke, Sheen is taking it seriously, saying if the producers of his new FX series Anger Management sign off and Idol agrees to meet his salary demands he’d be willing to talk.

• Jerry Lewis: Most likely this one is really a joke. Lythgoe has said he’d like to see the 86-year-old funny man become a judge, but Lewis has already expressed his dislike of the reality show. “The kids they get on American Idol, they’re all McDonalds’ wipeouts,” he told Access Hollywood. “They all worked there and now they’re doing that.”

• Aretha Franklin: In an email to CNN, the singer announced she’d like to be considered for the job. And she’s apparently looking to get her friend Patti LaBelle in on the action as her sidekick. Could this pick kill two birds with one stone and solve all the show’s problems?

In a poll last week, CBS Local asked fans who they would like to see become a judge. Mariah Carey came in first with 32% of the votes. Charlie Sheen also did surprisingly well, with 18%. Paula Abdul (again) and Adam Lambert tied for fan’s affections with 14%.

And a lot of Idol fans had their own ideas of who should become a judge on the show with Katy Perry leading the pack of suggestions. Even though the singer has appeared on AI before, offering her opinions during the show’s audition rounds, she seems like an unlikely candidate. “People have reached out to me about the possibility of being involved,” she recently told The Hollywood Reporter. “And it’s not right for me yet.”

Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus and Justin Timberlake also topped the list of who fans want to see next season. Even Chuck Norris got a nod for the position.

Who do you think deserves a seat at the judging table?

- Shannon Carlin, CBS Local

The biography took 25 years to make its way to the public, initially shelved by Ingrid Croce when she didn’t see eye to eye with a publisher. Now she feels the time is finally right.

“Last year, we took out the book, and it was time,” Ingrid told Rolling Stone. “It was overdue for many fans who kept asking for it. We read it and we felt really pretty good about it. The story was there.”

Encompassing his childhood, time spent in college and the Army National Guard, his relationships and career, the bio reveals both the ups and downs from Croce’s life. Ingrid even recounts her sexual assault that occurred during her time in Mexico – an incident that caused a rift in the relationship, leading to outbursts of anger, recreational drug use and occasional affairs that threatened their marriage.

Ingrid hopes the biography will be turned into a movie, joining recent rock stars whose stories are being brought to the big screen, like Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin.

“Yes, I would love to do a movie of Jim. I think he deserves it, and God knows we’ve had more fans ask for it than you can imagine. That, and ‘Why is Jim not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?’”

During his several years in the spotlight, Croce worked at a prolific pace – something Ingrid showcased throughout I Got a Name. The book is available now, and features a foreword by Arlo Guthrie.

- E.J. Judge, WCBSFM New York

The Boss pulled the former Beatle on stage during his headlining set at the Hard Rock Calling Festival, saying, “I gotta tell you – I’ve been trying to do this for 50 years.”

The duo, backed by the E Street Band and Rage Against the Machine guitarist Tom Morello, launched into The Beatles’ “I Saw Her Standing There,” then an extended version of “Twist and Shout.” Their once-in-a-lifetime collaboration came to an end, though, when the stage fell silent around 10:40 p.m. local time.  Sources report the official curfew for the event was 10:30 p.m.

The 76,000-person crowd reportedly booed when the legends’ mics were cut off.

E Street Band guitarist Steven Van Zandt took to twitter to share his thoughts on the situation:

English cops may be the only individuals left on earth that wouldn’t want to hear one more from Bruce Springsteen and Paul McCartney!

— Steven Van Zandt (@StevieVanZandt) July 15, 2012

“One of the great gigs ever in my opinion,” he also tweeted Saturday after the show. “But seriously, when did England become a police state? We break curfews in every country but only English cops needs to “punish us” by not letting us leave until the entire crowd goes. Is there just too much fun in the world? We would have been off by 11 if we’d done one more. On a Saturday night! Who were we disturbing? The cops got nothing more important to do? How about they go catch some criminals instead of f***ing with 80,000 people having a good time? I’m sorry but I have to be honest I’m pissed. Like I said, it didn’t ruin the great night. But when I’m jamming with McCartney don’t bug me!”

Check out video of Saturday night’s set here.

-Nee-Sa Lossing, CBS Local

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Babbitt was born Robert Kreinar on November 26, 1937 in Pittsburgh, where he lived until moving to Detroit. He began playing bass in the late 1950s, and by 1966, had joined Stevie Wonder’s touring band. His stint with Wonder led him, in 1967, to the Funk Brothers, the nickname given to Motown Records’ band of session musicians. It was in that role that Babbitt did some of his most influential work, adding funky basslines to Wonder’s “Sign, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours),” Smokey Robinson & the Miracles’ “Tears of a Clown” and the Temptations’ “Ball of Confusion,” as well as parts of Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On album.

When Motown moved to Los Angeles in 1972, Babbitt stayed in east, playing for the likes of Bette Midler, Frank Sinatra and Bonnie Raitt. As Rolling Stone points out, Babbitt played on more than 200 Top 40 hits, from Gladys Knight and the Pips’ “Midnight Train to Georgia” to Elton John’s “Mama Can’t Buy You Love.”

Because Motown’s session musicians were largely uncredited, players like Babbitt flew under the radar. With the release of the 2002 film about the Funk Brothers, Standing in the Shadows of Motown, Babbitt found himself getting his just due publicly. “He was one of the last of the breed of journeymen bass players who were total pros, could go in and crank out a hit, go to the next session and crank out another one,” Allan Slutsky, writer/producer of the film, told the Detroit News.

In recent years, Babbitt was presented with a 2004 Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award, traveled the world with the Funk Brothers, and backed Phil Collins on his 2010 album, Going Back. Just last year, he made an appearance on American Idol, performing during the show’s Motown tribute night.

- Jillian Mapes, CBS Local